Diary of Whatever

I saw this thing on Miza's blog and decided to do it. I am really freaked out by how accurate it is. The descriptions of last year and this year are completely true. Next year's predictions are already pissing me off, but we'll think about that later.

Inner Soul: You desire harmony, love, companionship, and peace with people; and you enjoy ease and comfort. You have great inner strength. You prefer kindness and thoughtfulness to the alternatives. As a dreamer and visionary, you desire others to know the necessity of living true to ideals. Many people call themselves your friend. You are a natural peacemaker and diplomat. You are often studious, attract many things to yourself, accumulate much wisdom. You try to reveal the beauties you have seen and known. You are capable of remarkable inventions.

Personality: You are seen as curious, sensual, witty, carefree, capricious, and restless. Monotony does not survive around you. You are adept with words and can entertain new ideas with relish.

Your quiescent Self: You travel to all countries of the world and experience the cultures they have to offer. You are fluent in all native languages and thrill with understanding many and varied points of view. Ties and responsibilities are not present. You live for adventure and constant new experience. Your thoughts and pleasure are not predictable, even to yourself, but always relate to learning or experiencing new things.

Your Destiny or Ultimate Goal: Your destiny is to be one of the educators of the world - uncovering and understanding the mysteries of life; studying, proving, making sure of facts then writing, teaching, or demonstrating your knowledge to others. Your quest for knowledge can bring you many unusual experiences and associations. You are intelligent, intuitive, scientific, a thinker, and a sage and you have far-reaching insight. You are an articulate and convincing spokesperson and a perfectionist, and would be at home in any executive position that did not involve machinery or the manufacturing departments. You enjoy writing, inventing, philosophy, and religions.

Your Life's Path: Your life is filled with things practical, or making them so with patience, care, and accuracy. You have a strong sense of what is right and are naturally honest, conscientious, and sincere. You are a worker and can be decidedly dedicated to your goals. In your work, you can be loyal, intense, and dedicated to the job at hand. You tend to be practical, and like to have your facts straight before beginning a project. You tend to be protective, with a strong sense of dignity and worthiness. Your path holds possibilities for great attainment. The rewards come because of patience, service, persistence and hard work.

Hufuckingrah. It's not an exception, it's a rule. It's not a phase, it's nature. Or, as my mother has always kindly said, "it's not a defect, it's a characteristic".

Love,

Mon xx

I got the job. After some debating with myself and friends, I decided to be excited about it. It's an internship, so my lifestyle will have to change in more ways than just financially, but I can adapt. I could get a job that pays better now, something I probably won't enjoy, and quit it in a few weeks. Whereas if I take this one, in six months I will be able to do something I actually enjoy! Wow, can you imagine actually loving your job and wanting to get out of bed in the morning?! I'm quite excited and looking forward to it. Really. At least I think I am, or would like to be, rather. Hmm. Oh God, I hope I win the lottery tomorrow.

I went out with the girls last night and we talked about the new beginnings in our lives over some cherry juice (I am off the booze for a while). It's really interesting to see four completely different lives, with one thing in common: we all moved to Berlin to pursue happier and more fulfilling lives, i.e. we were bored to death of our towns. Inevitably when you have four women in a bar, you have to decide which character of Sex and the City you are most like. "Charlotte", they uttered in unison as they looked at me. It's interesting to see people's perspectives of you. As much as I try to hide and shove it to the back of my mind, I think I am Charlotte.

In other news, my cousin has decided to get engaged. This brings the total wedding count for 2010 to about eight. Joy joy joy. We were flower girls at our mums' cousin's wedding when we were about four, and we lost the rings. It was hilarious. I've promised that if she lets me be a flower girl at her wedding, I won't lose them this time.

Anyway, must tune my guitar and practice some songs to play for the kiddies today. The kids I've worked with this week have been fantastic. It's been one of the best weeks of my life - so enjoyable and rewarding.

Love,

Mon xx

Today I woke up and felt like a different woman - a woman who lives within me, but only manifests herself when the time is right, when her presence is deemed necessary as a consequence of recent events.

A woman who, upon waking in a city she still feels somewhat lost in, thinks "I could be anywhere and I'd still rock the place" instead of "Fuck, I live in Berlin". A woman who finds strength when it seems that there is none left. A woman who accomplishes more in a week than she normally would in months, due to her heightened sense of awareness, which leads to even more motivation and determination than usual. A woman who is willing to forgive but not forget, which sadly is the key to moving on. A woman who recharges her batteries over tea and a chat with friends, rather than ten beers and a spliff. A woman who looks in the mirror and thinks "Damn, I am hot" rather than "Maybe I should cut out the cake" - in fact, a woman who wants her cake and eats it too. A woman who thinks "Nothing can nor will destroy me" and believes it; a woman who is fearless.

And the best part is that she's me. It doesn't feel good when you realise that you have to buckle up and brace yourself for the shitstorm that's coming, but I'm a pretty great fighter. I have a lot of (very precocious) experience (which I love and hate in equal measure) and I'm willing to take on more. It'll just make me an even stronger person.

So if you're feeling a bit low, find your balls and use them. You can do it. I believe in you. You'll be just fine.

Love,

Mon xx

Just some things I feel like I should say:

1. Read my friend's advice. It's very good.

2. I am getting louder and louder at screaming at my neighbours, who have sex every Sunday morning and make noises that can only be described as inhuman, nauseating and French.

3. Going for a run and practicing pole dancing at 7am is somewhat wrong - and disturbing - yet feels so satisfying.

4. How am I going to get tickets to see 30 Seconds to Mars at the end of the month if they're sold out? I need to meet Jared again and more importanly, need to get him to sign my arm again.

5. When doing research, if you ask people who played major roles in your life to write something about you and they all begin the reply with 'Wow', what does that mean?!

6. And what could George Bernard Shaw see when he said "You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say, 'Why not?'"? Could it be that he was actually crazy and he wasn't talking about his dreams or inventions, and everything I stand for is bollocks?

7. Thank God the airport police confiscated my hairdressing pair of scissors, and that the scissors I took from the kindergarten are blunt, therefore can't cut my own fringe.

8. I really want to cut my fringe.

9. Can you judge someone by their Facebook profile? You're supposed to describe yourself, but the groups you join can say a lot more about you. Here are mine, for example:

- I Really Should Think Before I Speak
- Those who APPARENTLY talk in their sleep
- I LOVE CHEESE
- I am not a Lesbian but I'm in love with Zooey Deschanel
- Helen's going to jump out of a plane!
- Disney Gave Me Unrealistic Expectations About Love
- I LOVE PARIS ♥
- Melt in the middle chocolate pudding appreciation society
- You Haven't Tasted Chocolate Milk Until You've Tasted Chocomel
- Betty Crocker is my drug dealer
- The Oliver Myles Appreciation Society
- When I was your age, Pluto was a planet
- Kids Who Hid In Dep't Store Clothing Racks While their Mom Was Shopping
- I can name every Jelly Belly flavor
- I eat Nutella straight out of the jar
- Abusive Coffee Drinkers Anonymous
- Jelly Beans are the Sixth Food Group
- I have a star tattoo
- Just Say No!
- The Crepe Appreciation Society
- I'm Not Short I'm Petite
- Bridget Jones Support Group
- Anti War, Pro Puppies
- Peanut butter and jam appreciation society
- My name is Monica!!!
- Liverpool Marketing Elite
- Ben and Jerry's isn't just an ice cream but a religion
- Tyskie
- Randomely laughing because you remembered something funny
- Laughing When You Shouldn't
- Pineapples do not belong on pizzas
- Hate Being Told What To Do
- Pretending to Text in Awkward Situations
- I still laugh when everyone else is over it
- World Nutella Day

10. Do not sing Barbie Girl to your man. He might leave, taking you with him, dragging you out of the room naked and accidentally chafing your knee on the wall. This is impossible to remember when you're having a shower, and you'll keep rubbing it with the body puff, thus never allowing it to dry up and stop stinging.

Have a great Sunday.

Love,

Mon xx

I am sooooo embarrassed about last night. Here's why:

16:30: Post-meeting drinks. Two glasses of cosy Glühwein.

18:00: Meeting friend. Don't have much time to have a drink as we need to be somewhere at 19:00. Order a carafe anyway and drink two glasses of red wine in half an hour.

19:30: Fancy another drink. Have to be somewhere at 20:00. They don't have carafes and a bottle is cheaper than two glasses (I think. Even if it isn't, surely it's better value for money) so we order one. Drink two and a half glasses of wine in half an hour.

20:30: Call Stephen to see if he fancies a snog cos I'm walking past his house. Get to his place, go straight to the bathroom to be sick. Accidentally puke on his toilet mat. "Mon, are you puking?" "No..." I was. Decide to go home straight away, without a kiss. (Or did I inflict one upon you?)

21:00: Call friend to tell her I'm drunk and walking home, and that I love her. She tells me she's drunk on the ubhan, on the way to meet her friend at the airport.

21:15: Get home, head straight to the bathroom.

21:30: Wake up with head in the toilet. Phone rings. It's Stephen, asking if I made it home, if I feel okay and if I want him to come over. God no, I say. Don't want him to witness any more of this. Sweet, though.

22:00: Get up and have a glass of water.

23:00: Throw up water.

1:30: Friend texts me to say she's still drinking, and slowly dying.

5:00: I wake up. Guess I've had enough sleep. Check my emails. Have a horrible headache. Go back to bed.

9:15: Ahh, feel much better. Except for the feeling that I've done 500 sit-ups.

So unlike me. I went for one drink and all of a sudden, I realised I was drunk. I think I have some apologising, and perhaps some washing, to do today. Again, I am so embarrassed.

Love,

Mon xx