Frustrated. Upset. Pissed off. Angry. Confused. Betrayed.

I could go on and attempt to describe how I feel right now, but I heard a song on the radio earlier that says everything.

Rooster - Deep and Meaningless

I, I don't know why I miss you so much
Yeah I, I don't know why I still feel your touch
You, you left me feeling high and dry
With nothing, nothing but the question why

Yeah you, I guess you had another direction
And leaving me with nothing but a dead connection

If you call me today
I'll say that I'm fine
But I bet you can tell by the tone of my voice
It's just a lie
You knew what you had
You still walked away leaving me in this mess
My love for you is deep and meaningless

You, you knew what you were doing to me
And I, I guess I was too blind to see
Well you hit where it hurt and you fooled me so bad
But I'd do it again to relive what we had
Damn that's sad

There are many things left to remind me
Of a love that I just can't leave behind me

Love,

Mon xx

I had the strangest dream last night! I'm a self confessed sleep-talker and walker, with many stories to tell (we'll leave that for another time though...) but this one's surprised me! I remember talking to a little monkey and it was talking to me!!! Even remember its little mouth moving! No, I'm not on "special" substances. The monkey was cute though, brown and white

Anyway, I'm exhausted from all the cycling and exercise I've done over the past few days!! Must keep up the good effort though, especially after those cookies and doughnuts hehe

Today's song is 'Brighter than Sunshine' by Aqualung cos I'm feeling all lovey dovey and wrapped up in lots of nice feelings at the moment

Love,

Mon xx

ps- 3 days to Finch!!!

I finally managed to get a tan! Spent a couple of hours sunbathing with my mom and we were both red by the end of the day. I look so much healthier when I've been out in the sun! Talking about health, reminds me that my new piercing got a bit infected, the hole was purple at the front, blood at the back, and there was a sticky liquid coming off it...eugh! Sorry :X

Got my new bike today so me and Andy went riding in the park! We only did about 2 miles but I nearly died of exhaustion! My dad really wants me to get a helmet and elbow pads hehehe I've convinced him I'll be really careful though! Good thing he wasnt there when I fell off my skateboard and and hit my ass straight on the floor, that was painful...

Today's song is 'Stay With Me' by Finch, cant wait to see them next week! This band reminds me of a friend I'm missing at the moment, so this song is for you

Love,

Mon xx

I've still got a headache cos I havent slept properly since friday!The late nights and the heat have seriously disturbed my sleep!!
Me and my friend went out on friday night and had lots of fun! We went for a meal, then we were supposed to go to the cinema but it was too late so we went to a club instead not a dancy-slutty kinda club though, a rock club! No tarty girls, no pervs, just good music and cool places to sit and chat After a while we decided to go home cos I had to be up at 7am the next morning, which, by the way, was really hard! haha and I still had to pack cos I was going away for the weekend. So thats friday night...4 hours sleep. On saturday we stayed up late as well and I was falling asleep... Anyway this kinda thing is only funny for the people in the story - me and Cleo - so really I shouldnt have mentioned it in my blog But nevermind! Just sharing my fun with you.

I'm gonna have some breakfast now. It's early to choose a song for today so I'll pick a song that reminds me of the weekend which was a lot of fun, as was the journey back home when Andy split my phone in half! (It wasnt me!!! No it wasnt) Ok so today's song is 'Motorhead - The Ace of Spades' Ahh classic!

Love,

Mon xx

Ever been so confused that you felt life was meaningless? Ever wanted to disappear and leave everything behind, so you wouldnt have to face your problems? In Monica style I'll explain how I feel by giving you a song, and today's is 'Have you ever' by The Offspring! I find it easier to show my point of view with songs I've written about 10 in the past few weeks!

When you feel frustrated about life, and you want more out of it, how do you go about doing it? It's easier to stick to what you've got (which is great) and ignore what's going on, but in the end that may not make you happy, so you have to change things... but then you're back to the original question of 'how to'! It sucks!

Someone once told me to just f*** it, life gave up on me so I should give up on it! Wise quote, but as always I'm gonna make things better my own way - whatever, get over it!

Love,

Mon xx

Horray I managed to take the earring out! I was listenning to music and dancing, got carried away and just went 1, 2, ouuuch!!! It went flying off, but hey at least I can wear nice earrings now! hehehe

I had a job interview today, hopefully I'll get the job! Also went shopping and bought a gorgeous eyeshadow, it's black and sparkly ooo very punk indeed!

Right a song for today would be 'Turn me on' by Norah Jones. Sooo tired

Love,
Mon xx

Ahhh I'm really annoyed! Got my ear pierced 6 weeks ago, so I can take the earring out now and replace it with a nicer one If only it came off!!! I've got 3 piercings on one ear and 1 on the other (I know it's odd, I did it on purpose) so it's not the first time I've had to take the damn original stud out.

Today's song is 'The hand that feeds' by Nine Inch Nails. Talking about feeding, I'm gonna go and test my new grilling machine mmmm

Tata!

Love,
Mon xx

It's been a while since I wrote something on this! It always happens with my diaries as well, I start off writing everyday at the beginning of the year and then only write every few weeks, or months! I'm trying to keep it up-to-date this year because I have a feeling it's gonna be one of those life changing years! We're already half way through the year though...

Anyway there is a reason I havent written on this blog lately - I have nothing to say! Havent done much lately so I'll come back and write something when I've got something interesting to say

Love,

Mon xx