Hello lovely bloggers,

I talked myself into going to a lecture this afternoon but did stop into town on the way to buy a hat so that my hair didnt fly all over the place ending up in me getting to uni looking like a mental institute patient on the run. I got a lovely orange hat (not blue to match my scarf, oh no, the orange one looked better!). On the way to uni me and Rach saw a little boy dressed as a pumpkin, he even had a little pumpkin hat! He looked so cute. But...that's when I realised that I too looked like a giant pumpkin. Could I have chosen a better day to wear my new orange hat?!

Also, as I was waiting to cross the road earlier I realised that I'd taken Charlie's advice one step too far as I found myself jumping up and down with my hands in my pockets going "shit shit shit shit". And then laughing hysterically as I noticed how interesting I must've looked to passers by.

What a delightful day it's been!

Love,

Mon xx

Hell no. There's a storm going on outside so I'm gonna read my academic books instead of going to the lecture, it's only fair!

So I took Charlie's advice and started swearing at things (anything!) and it made me feel sooo much better! Of course half those things would actually have to be human for the names I called them to work, but it doesnt matter.

Anyway, just so I look busy, here's a meme...hahaha

NOW

Is your hair up?: Nope
Is your phone right beside you?: Nope but it's not far
Do you have a bf/ gf?: *swears at question*
Do you wish you were somewhere else?: Yea, somewhere where it's not raining
Do you have plans for tonight?: Dress up and have a drink!
Are you wearing makeup?: Yep
Are you wearing chapstick?: Not Chapstick, but lipbalm for winter
Are you cold?: No
Are you tired?: I've drank a ridiculous amount of caffeine, no
Are you excited?: Not at all
Are you watching TV?: No but it's on
Are you wearing pjs?: Nope
Who's the last person you IMed?: Rachel
Who's the last person that called you?: Alex

PAST

Anything you regret?: No, I dont let myself have regrets
Ever lied?: Yep
Ever stuck gum under a desk?: No!
Ever spit at someone?: Yea but I was only a kid!
Ever kick something living?: Not in a mean way
Ever had your nails done?: Yep
Ever thrown up because you cried so hard?: No

LAST WEEK

Had any plans last week?: Yep, and they kinda worked out
Who did you see most last week?: Erm, my mom?
Was last week interesting?: Not really

TODAY

Have you cussed?: Yea, but there's no one around to hear it!
Have you yelled at someone?: Nope
Have you gotten mad at someone?: Myself, for not going to the lecture
Have you cried?: No
Have you called more than 3 people?: No
Have you IMed more than 3 people?: Yea
Have you eaten anything gross?: Not today

SPILL YOUR GUTS

Q: First thing you did this morning?
A: Have a shower

Q: Last thing you ate?
A: A banana

Q: What's something you look forward to most in the next 6 weeks?
A: Parties and nights out, got a lot of them going on!

Q: What's annoying you right now?
A: The storm outside and my craving for coffee.

Q: What's the last movie you saw?
A: Girl, Interrupted.

Q: Do you believe in long distance relationships?
A: Yep but I'm not sure if I'd have another one, it's too painful at times.

Q: Where is the last place you went?
A: The kitchen? Or the pub last night.

Q: Who is the last person you called?
A: My mom.

Q: Been cheated on?
A: Kinda...

Q: Do you think that someone is thinking about you right now?
A: In about 5 minutes people will be wondering where I am, but other than that I hope someone is thinking about me.

Q: Choose one to have (love, beauty, creativity)?
A: Love.

Q: Do you wish on stars?
A: If I see one I might.

Q: Does it work?
A: It hasnt yet.

Q: Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off?
A: Yep

Q: When did you last cry?
A: Last night

Q: Do you like your handwriting?
A: Most of the time, when I'm not being lazy

Q: Are you a friendly person?
A: Yea

Q: Are you keeping a secret from the world?
A: Nope *strokes moustache*

Q: Who's bed did you sleep in last night?
A: Mine

Q: What color shirt are you wearing?
A: Black with red stripes, very punk indeed.

Q: Do you have any pets?
A: Yep Bella the brown furry hamster, who looks like a guinea pig.

Q: What is the color of your bedsheets?
A: White.

Q: What were you doing at 9 last night?
A: Chatting to people.

Q: Last person you talked to in person?
A: My sister.

Q: When is the last time you saw your dad?:
A: Last night.

Q: Look to your left.
A: That sounds like something someone in a horror film would say!!

Q: Ever cried yourself to sleep?
A: Yea.

Q: Ever cried on your friends shoulder?
A: Yep.

Q: Song that makes you cry?
A: 'Goodbye my lover' by James Blunt.

Q: Are you a normally happy person?
A: Yep!

Q: Is your self-esteem low?
A: Sometimes.

Q: What color are your eyes?
A: Brown.

Q: Long or Short Hair?
A: Long, tempted to chop it off.

Q: Current Music?
A: Oh I'm in an emo/hardcore/heavy metal/what my mom calls "backyard bands" mood.

Today's song is 'my hero' by the Foo Fighters - it's on Scuzz now.

Love,

Mon xx

Lost isn’t what you can’t find
Lost is a state of mind
Lost in your beautiful face
Lost in every word you say
Lost is you and me together
In a world where reality doesn’t matter
Lost is how I feel inside
When you’re not here by my side
Lost is rain that doesn’t stop
A hopeless thought, an empty mind
The lack of will to fight
Lost is where you find yourself
Without moving from the same spot
A simple plan that never works
A better place in mind
Lost is not having the strength
After having fought and lost a battle
It’s reading the map, seeing the right path
But watching your life fade away
As yet again you’re going in the wrong direction.

Nope, the treacle pudding with custard didnt do it for me either. Millions of biscuits, chocolate, cakes, jellies and cappuccinos later and I'm definitely plumper but the hissy mood hasnt gone away. Running out of ideas here.

Today's song is 'bliss' by Muse.

Love,

Mon xx

So apparently I look like Uma Thurman, Tori Amos, Martine McCutcheon and Matsu Takako - who's Japanese, and I may be out on a limb here but I dont think I look Japanese at all, however myheritage.com seems to think I do.

Had a lovely lunch today: couscous, tomatoey lentils and falafel balls, and er, an obscene amount of cake. Then went for a little ride with mom and we stopped at the docks to buy a souvenir for my mate in California, and mom bought me a mug that says "Drink Coffee: Do Stupid Things Faster with More Energy". Haaaaa, it's great!! The other mug I liked said "Queen of Fucking Everything", so you know, the first one was obviously more suitable for me and perhaps more appropriate to take to work, once I actually have a job.

I guess I better go do some economics work, if I wanna pass this module. Chances that I'll pass? Minimal. Chances that I'll do the work? Also very, very low. Chances that I'll be playing with my pen in the lecture tomorrow and daydreaming about the banana cake I had earlier? Ah, that's more like it.

Today's song is... "painted by numbers"

Love,

Mon xx

My first...

1. Crush? A boy called David in my first year at school, tee hee.

2. Kiss? A guy named Paulo, he had long blonde hair.

3. Person you said "I love you" to? Andy, the ex boyfriend of 4 years.

4. Address? A little town in Portugal.

5. Job? Proper job, a secretary at a law firm.

6. Car? Not exactly allowed to drive yet...

7. Record? Some Brazilian singer, who sucked, by the way.

8. Movie? The land before time!

9. Alcoholic drink? Orange reef.

10. Foreign holiday? South of Spain, aged two. That I remember though, Switzerland when I was 7.

Love, and I promise I'll stop for now.

Mon xx

1.Where did you take your default pic?
On my bed.

2.What exactly are you wearing right now?
A mini denim skirt, a purple top and ugg boots, it's freezing man!!

3.What is your current problem?
I have a new addiction to filo prawns with chili dip.
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Chapter 1:

1.Middle name:
Marina!

2.Current place:
Living room.

3.Eye color:
Brown.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 2:

1.Do you live with your parents?
Yah moved back in after a split with boyfriend of 4 years.

2.Do you get along with your parent(s)?
Yep.

3.Are your parents married/separated/divorced?
Married for 24 years!

4.Do you have any siblings?
A sister, my best fuzzy friend
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 3: Favorite...

1. Ice Cream:
Ben and Jerry's chocolate chip cookie dough, or banana frozen yoghurt.

2. Season:
Summer - sun, beach and fruity drinks.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 4: Do You..

1. Write on your hand:
Sometimes!

2. Call people back:
Erm, most of the time.

3. Believe in love:
Yea yea I still do.

4. Sleep on a certain side of the bed?
Yup the left.

5. Have any bad habits?
Not that I can think of, but some people would say that's a bad habit.

6. Any mental health issues?
Haha nothing serious.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 5: Have You....

1.Broken a bone:
Nope.

2.Sprained stuff?
Yea

3.Gotten stitches:
Yep had an operation, thankfully they didnt leave me open!

4.Taken painkillers?
Yea, and my favourite is co-codamol.

5.Gone SCUBA diving or snorkeling:
Nope.

6. Been stung by a bee?
Yes, hurt like hell.

7.Thrown up at the dentist:
Nope.

8.Sworn in front of your parents:
Yea we say 'shit' quite a lot, nothing too bad though.

9.Been sent to the principal's office:
Yes, because I wrote my name in massive letters on the register, that's hardly a sin!

10. Been expelled?
No, I was a goody two shoes, or so they thought.
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Chaper 6: Who/What was the last

1.Person you called: Rachel.

2.Person you hugged: Erm, my dad.

3.Thing you ate: Rice, veggies, scampi and filo prawns!

4. Thing you drank: White wine.

5. Time you cried: Last night.

6. Wished on a star: I havent even seen a star in ages, I live in the hazy North.

Love,

Mon xx

May I just add that I'm the one with the issues, not my parents. Well, my dad does annoy me with the food obsession but it's hereditary; other than that they're normal, lovely, amazing parents and I wouldnt be what I am without them. We're colourful, it's genetic!

Good night!

Love,

Mon xx

As soon as I get in, the first thing I'm asked (after 'are you ok') is "I'm making steak, do you want me to make you something else?". Ok so that sounds really nice, extra nice for willingness to please daughter's new vegetarian lifestyle. The thing that pisses me off is, I get asked this question every five minutes. I'm 20 years old and, unlike a baby, I can say when I'm hungry and oh oh shockingly - - feed myself!!! For the love of God, if someone else tries to give me food today I will start screaming in horror film manner. And insisting, on and on and on, it makes me want to burst out crying because it makes me sooo stressed. Do you want this? No. Do you want that? No, not hungry. Do you want that other thing then? ... Oh, what about this? *screams to self, not to disturb others*

Parents do whatever they can to try and please you, then think you're ungrateful or get upset when you dont want to be spoilt. I dont like people doing that kinda thing for me, I like doing things myself, and I'm a slight control freak. It's in my family's nature to be overprotective, my dad was given breakfast in bed until the day he got married. And now my mom will get upset after reading this, and call me ungrateful. Dammit. And probably go "fine, fine, I wont give you any more lifts". Now, lifts I want, because I cant drive! It's not that I'm ungrateful, it's that it annoys me when I want to change something but cant. And how can someone feel worthy when people do everything for them? Sometimes I feel like my parents would be happier if I was a narrow minded I-do-nothing-out-of-the-ordinary type of girl. But I'm not a sheep, and I wish they'd be proud of me for being eager to stand on my own two feet. After all, they've given me the opportunity to have an amazing life so far, so why would I stop?

No song for today, I want peace and quiet.

And as I was typing that, my dad shouted "do you want mousse Monica?" *screams to self, not to disturb others*

Love,

Mon xx

...I do like this song.

Love,

Mon xx

That night I sat on my bed and cried
Not tears of joy nor memories you left behind
Not loneliness, not stress
Exhaustion not even crossed my mind
Not because I miss you
Or the fact that you haven't called
It's not that I want to hate you
Or even get even at all
Those tears meant more to me
Than you'll ever be able to know
See, you'd actually have to know me
For the reason to begin to show
So for all the time we spent together
For the time you set aside
And all those special moments
That we think about and sigh
I thought it wouldn't end
I wished our love would grow
I was so sure that it would last
Then my wrongness took a blow
So if the paranoia
Of never knowing what went wrong
Doesn't seem like enough
To make you howl and crawl
Try thinking of it from my point of view
What one could ever do
To deserve to be treated like a fool
They were lies all along
It seems you had a plan
Yet I'm the one who feels bad
For making such a mistake
So if you haven't figured out
It's the loss of sanity
Another attempt to be happy
Took the hope left in me
After hours of thinking it through
There's nothing but guilt left in my mind
I've let myself down once again
That's what makes me want to cry.

That's all. Today's song is 'Knights of Cydonia' by Muse.

Love,

Mon xx

Yesterday I put my msn name as 'Shhh dont tell my mom I got a tattoo'. Five minutes later she comes online (I forgot she was on my list...), looks shocked and starts lifting up my clothes to try and find it. Bollocks. I was boiling all night but didnt take off my jumper so they wouldnt see it until it was healed, grrr. So eventually I showed her and my dad the tattoo! They didnt say anything, just gave me that "you're nuts" look.

Today I binged on chocolate and pick n mix sweets, then went to the gym to burn them off, forced myself to come home as I was running out of life, and tonight I'm gonna carry on the self destruction by going out and getting a little tipsy. Oh and I ate my salad with a tea spoon because they didnt have any forks. No matter how hard I try, my inner idiot always comes out to play. My life rules!

Today's song is 'the white hare' by Seth Lakeman.

Love,

Mon xx

I stole this off Katie...

A - Available: Nope
A - Age: 20
A - Annoyance: Not being able to find the place to stick the match in to light up the oven...
====================
B - Best feature: I dunno, you choose
B - Bike: Is pink and purple!
B - Birthday: August, lovely summer month
====================
C - Crush: Perhaps!
C - Car: Not one of my top priorities right now
C - Candy: Jellies! The red ones and the blue dolphin ones rule!!
====================
D - Day or night: Day
D - Dream Car: Black Porsche
D - Dogs or Cats: Dogs
====================
E - Egg nog: Looks good but sounds gross
E - E-mail: A great invention!
====================
F - Favorite color: Pink
F - Favorite Band: At the moment Alexisonfire
====================
G - Gummy Bears or Worms: Worms, you can suck on them
====================
H - Hair Color: Brown
H - Height: Do I have to?!
H - Happy: Yea ish
====================
I - Instrument: Drums
I - Idol: Nelson Mandela, Karl Marx
====================
J - Jewellery: Dangly earrings
J - Job: Full time student
J - Jail: Dont drop the soap
====================
K - Kids: One day
K - Kickboxing or karate: Ballet
K - Kindergarten: I ran away on my first day
====================
L - Longest car ride: Every time we go to Wales feels like the longest car ride ever
L - Last kiss? Tee hee...
====================
M - Milk Flavour: One that doesnt taste like milk would be good
M - Most missed memory: Cinema with the girls when we were 12/13
M - Movie Last Watched: Sahara, watched it again the other day
====================
N - Number of Siblings: 1
N - Nickname: Mon
====================
O - One wish: To pass Economics
O - One regret: Nope dont have any!
====================
P - Part of your appearance you love: Er, nothing. I do like my eyes though
====================
Q - Quick or Slow?: It depends!
====================
R - Reason to smile: It's friday tomorrow
R - Reality TV Show: Should be banned
====================
S - Song Last Heard: Red Flag by Billy Talent
===================
T - Time you woke up: 8:00am
T - Time for bed: Whenever I'm tired, usually about 11
===================
U - Unpredictable: Sometimes
U - Underwear: Should always be worn under pyjamas
===================
V - Vegetable you hate: Courgettes, bleh
V - Vacation spot: A pristine beach
===================
W- Worst habit: Humm cant think of one
W- Where are you going to travel: Across the globe, hopefully
===================
X - X-Ray: Uncomfortable
===================
Y - Yellow: Doesnt flatter many people
===============
Z - Zoo Animal: Tiger
Z - Zodiac Sign: Leo! Beware

Love,

Mon xx

So, my mate's having a halloween/bonfire night party soon and I'm really looking forward to it. There's gonna be loads going on, the house is massive and the garden is even bigger, and loads of people are going as she shares a house with some other guys and girls, sooo no doubt it'll be a night to remember!

I'm the latest blogger to become addicted to meez.com, it's so cute! So here's what I'm gonna look like at this party...haha...

That's me, my hair doesnt look like that yet but it will before the party. Right then, back to whatever it was I was doing...oh yea, nothing.

Today's song is 'turn into' by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

Love,

Mon xx

Hey everyone,

I've been hit by a sudden burst of energy and have done more exercise in the past few days than I've ever done in my whole life, probably, in such a small space of time. Yesterday I got up at 9:30am, got ready, went round to Andy's to get my bike (and walked a lot to get there...), then went for a ride in the lovely park and saw some squirrels! Then I went back to Andy's, walked a little to get some lunch, walked back to Andy's, walked again to get the bus home, got in and did an exercise video. Today I went to the gym for an hour and then had a ballet lesson, which killed me but now I feel great, stretched every little muscle in my body. Can't do toolooloo's *insert French term for twirly thing here* to save my life, but I'll learn eventually. I just wanna wear a tutu really.

Soooo, tomorrow more gym for me, and then out with the dance society woooo! It'll be fun, a bunch of dancers out dancing!!

Little update on the vegetarianism: it's going great! It's a good excuse to have jam sandwiches for lunch; and I had a mushroom burger in pitta bread for dinner, kebab style, and it was yummy.

Sadly though, I took Bob to the vet earlier so that he could be cremated.

Today's song is The Dukes of Hawk's version of Attomic Kitten's 'whole again'. The Dukes of Hawk are Andy's band, he's the drummer. Check them out on myspace (http://www.myspace.com/thedukeofhawk), they're really good. And if you do, please mention that it was me who told you about them, so that they may let me be their publicist...

Love,

Mon xx

Bored, or tired... must move bum off chair and go to lecture. But first, here's a little quiz I borrowed off jaketaylor...

1) When showering, do you start the water and then get in or get in and start the water?
Start the water first, let the bathroom warm up!

2) Do you read the labels on your shampoo bottle?
Yep I read all the marketing waffle on the labels.

3) Do you moan in the shower like the people on the herbal essence commercial?
Er, no...

4) Have you ever showered with someone of the opposite sex?
Yup

5) Have you ever been forced to shower with one of your siblings?
No

6) Have you ever brushed your teeth in the shower?
Yea I have

7) Have you ever dropped your soap on your foot?
Yes it hurts!!

8) How old do you look?
Probably about 17.

9) How old do you act?
Depends, I am mature but have my silly phases, they're mandatory!

10) What's the last song you sang?
'For tonight you're only here to know' by The Distillers.

11) Have you recently become a member of anything?
The dance society at uni and some private swanky club!

12) What are your plans for the weekend?
I dont know, but my horoscope says it'll be romantic.

13) Do you kiss with your eyes opened or closed?
Er, both? Closed, whatever.

14) Have you ever ridden a mechanical bull?
Not that I remember.

15) Did you ever intentionally vomit after eating?
Eugh no I hate vomiting full stop.

16) If you were working on a pirate ship, what would you most likely be?
The cheerful little parrot everyone wants to shoot.

17) Have you ever called anyone a slut?
Yea

18) Have you ever been called a slut?
Yea, girls are so bitchy!

19) Have you ever smuggled something into America?
Nope

20) Does playing the guitar make a girl/guy more attractive?
I have images of Avril Lavigne in my mind now, so I'll have to say no. But it's cool.

21) Do you live in a city with a good sports team?
Yup

22) Have you ever finished off the popcorn?
Yea! I usually let the other person finish it though.

23) How many people do you think would come to your funeral?
Loads, I have a big family.

24) How many of them would come just to make sure you're dead?
Haha none that I can think of!

25) Do you have more enemies or more friends?
Friends.

26) Have you ever sent an anonymous letter?
You mean like ransom? No, but when I was 13 I sent this guy loads of them and signed as 'your secret admirer' *cringe* teenagers are hideous.

27) Can you fix your own car?
I dont even know how to open that front flap thing.

28) Have you ever turned someone down for a date?
Yea and with most of them I felt horrible.

29) Are you smarter than your friends?
Depends on the friend! I'd say we're all smarter at different things.

30) Have you ever stolen anything from your friends?
No, never.

31) Have you ever been to jail?
No

32) Should you have?
Of course not! Pfff. Haha um...

32) Do you like the taste of beer?
Nope really dont

34) Have you ever died or killed someone in a dream?
I think so, oops

35) Have you ever given to charity?
Yea lots of times, I do when I can.

36) Would you kill a dog for £1000?
Nooooo I wouldnt kill a dog for any amount of money!!!

37) Do you sometimes get depressed?
Yea a little bit.

38) Do you live with your parents?
Yup

39) Do you have plans for your future?
Get a great job, my dream apartment and a puppy, travel the world, get involved in more charity work to help the needy and live my life to the full!

Right then, coffee and dash. Have a great day everyone!

Love,

Mon xx

Andy's just txt me and said Bob's died. Bob's our hamster by the way. He did live for two years and a half, which is the longest any of my hamsters have lived for, so at least I think he died of old age and not from some horrible disease like my last hamster, Kelso.

My mom's refused to drive the dead hamster to the vet (what else am I gonna do?! I havent got a garden to bury him and I'm NOT throwing him in the bin!) so I'll ask my dad nicely when he gets in.

I'm gonna go get ready for some retail therapy... Today's song is 'feels like rain' by John Hiatt.

Love,

Mon xx

Yahooooooo! So my day started off brilliantly at 6am. My alarm, that lovely bird-singing, cat-meowing, dog-barking, rain-dropping sound I choose to wake up to because for some reason it's better than the usual 'tih tih tih tih! tih tih tih tih!' that ruined my sleep every morning during my school years. Aaaanyway, decided to put 3 spoonfuls of coffee and 2 sugars in my mug - thought I'd need the boost. Here's a list of weird things that have happened today then:

1. I prepared for a tutorial, even read the recommended texts and spoke out loud about my opinions!
2. Dropped a bottle of water in the toilet.
3. Bought another bottle of water, dropped the lid on the floor and had to drink it all in one go.
4. Bought a chicken wrap, sat down, read the label out loud and... "chicken and basil, looks nice. Oh no it's chicken!! Chicken *screechy voice*!!! I'm supposed to be a vegetarian, what am I gonna dooo?!". By this point everyone is staring at me. I ran to the shop and swapped it for another wrap. Got back to the table and Rachel called me an idiot...hehe
5. I didnt get a uni hoody cos they only had pink ones left but I want a blue one cos I like it better. Me, like, blue - never thought would appear in the same sentence together.
6. Listenned to a whole economics lecture, without falling asleep, and even did some work. And most impressive of all, I understood it!
7. On my way home I saw a red sofa tied to the top of a car driving past. I recognised the car, looked at the driver - it was my dad. Phoned my mom who was also in the car and half way through our convo she goes "oh hangon I've gotta go, the rope's coming undone". Oh dear.
8. Considered going back out to the gym when I got in. Ok I've pretty much given up on the idea now, but just that crossing my mind is spooky enough.
9. I realised when I got my new glasses earlier (hurray!! They have a purple frame btw) that I'm unintentionally wearing a lot of purple today. Purple watch, purple necklace, purple top, purple shoes, even purple underwear. My purple guitar is staring at me in the corner. I have 2 purple pens in front of me. My lips have been purple most of the day - it's freaking cold. Purple is associated with witches. Coincidence? I think not.

So my advice to everyone is, start your day with a massive dose of caffeine. I havent even blinked!

Today's song is 'hey mama' by the Black Eyed Peas.

Love,

Mon xx

I really wanna go out but have to be up at 6am tomorrow, so being the responsible little adult that I am, I've decided that it's better to leave the going out for tomorrow night instead (or I cant stay at a mate's/my mates cant stay here so it wouldnt be safe coming home). I suck. Gonna see the girls tomorrow anyway soooo it'll be fun!

Here's a little song I wish I was dancing to in a club (not like that again Gordon, I'm never getting that drunk again remember?!):

And instead of cocktails, here's what I'm drinking:

Yummy!

Love and night night, beware of the bed bugs,

Mon xx

I'm really upset. Slightly angry too, but mainly upset. Right, as I mentioned the other day I've decided to become a vegetarian. It's been working out great for a couple of months now, with the exception of some chicken sandwiches! We hadnt had meat for a while anyway so my parents only realised that I'd made this decision this week, after I refused to eat steak, then mince yesterday, and chicken today. So today it was my turn to cook and I made a roast dinner (ish, screwed up the gravy and the stuffing had gone off), and when I filled up my plate with veggies and mash and said I didnt want any chicken I was called retarded. By my mother. And my dad keeps telling me that vegetarians still eat chicken and he can't believe that they dont eat fish either. So in his head, vegetarians only abstain from red meat, which is fine because it's not a subject he's ever been interested in - but I'm upset that he's treating this like it's a childish phase, like arson, and that he thinks I'll die if I dont eat animals. The problem is, they dont respect my decision and now my mother is blaming herself for me "being weird" and they both think I'm only doing this to lose weight, or to annoy them.

My grandad and my aunty are communists, my grandad is also a hunter, my grandma has always been a little loopy (according to the family), my other grandma thinks about food/eating/feeding people 24/7, my other grandad will only have tomato pasta, cheese sandwiches and bacon, my aunty is a hypochondriac, my uncle and aunty wont leave my 25-yr-old cousin at home on her own over night because "she might need something", but I have just topped off the list and become the prime convict, by becoming a vegetarian.

I deserve this. I reaaaally deserve this.

Today's song is 'loving you' by Paolo Nutini.

Love,

Mon xx

Me and Rachel (if we can get one of the girls to change their name to Phoebe, we'll have the whole Friends girls line up!) had a huge gap in between lectures so we decided to go to a careers fair. It was quite useful as I got a few contact numbers, which will come in handy in future because it's not always what you know, it's who you know bla bla marketing bla. So...this man at a nicely decorated stand says to me "Would you like to teach English abroad? All expenses paid, even health care and insurance, and the salary's not bad". I immediately thought it sounded like a lot of fun and an opportunity to travel, which I love, so I signed up to teach English in China - wow!! Then, a little while later, I dissapointedly realised that I cant speak Chinese. Or Malay. Or Thai. So I guess when they phone me, I'll pretend there's no one here called Monica.

Other weird things that happened at that fair were an Air Force man telling me I'm too short to be a pilot and that I probably couldnt reach be pedals, when all I asked was if they had careers in marketing. And this other guy offered me a tiny box that becomes a t-shirt if you put it in water.

By the way, white hot chocolate from Thorntons tastes like Baileys, so they might as well put alcohol in it, because at least then some good would come out of that sickly sweet drink. Blergh.

Today's song is 'my heroine' by Silverstein.

Love,

Mon xx

PS: Thanks for giving me tea in a Tigger mug Kirsty!

My God, I'd say "I cant feel my toes" as you usually do when you're in exquisite pain, but I can actually really, really feel my toes, they really hurt and I'm pretty sure if they could talk they'd be screaming "dont put us in those ballet shoes again you bitch!" at me. It was a good lesson today but for some reason the teacher decided to pick me to do a demonstration - twice. Must remember to wear something that will help me blend in better next week, i.e. no baggy combats and no stripey tops. Have I got "pick me, pick me!" stamped on my forehead or something?! One teacher picked me in a lecture last week, another teacher picked me today to share my opinion with the whole group in a debate about ethics...which I have to admit was actually fun. Ah well, good times...good times.

Tonight I'm rebelling and not eating steak. I've been trying to become a vegetarian since I was about 12, but when you're young you just have to eat what your parents give you. Now, however, I still dont like meat and honestly don't miss it at all, so I'm just not eating it. Trying to scrape chicken off my list too, but it's yummy and better than quorn chicken, which my dad said looked like dog food, which put me off it. It's funny (not sure if funny is the word...) when someone who's known you for a long time doesnt know little things about you. For example, one of my mates said I like junk food, but anyone who spends five minutes with me knows I dont. And my dad, bless him, still asks if I want bacon everytime he's cooking it, and every single time I tell him "dad, I dont eat pig". Other things I apparently like according to my dad are blackcurrants, liver, fish eggs and snails - all because that's what they used to feed me when I had no choice.

Anyway, more white wine for me tonight, hurrah!

Today's song is 'boiled frogs' by Alexisonfire, great song for the gym!

Love,

Mon xx

It's funny how a little bit of white wine makes life a little bit funnier...red wine I don't really like, but rosé is nice too. And it's weird how three glasses of wine have the same effect as about fifteen alcopops, yet they're much tastier and so much classier.

Today's song is:

He looks like my boy. My boy, who I really miss right now. Did I just say that?!

Love,

Mon xx

Like today, for instance. I dont have to do anything and I dont wanna do anything that'd involve making an effort, so I've been curled up on my bed (finally used the new cushions) reading. My new book is fabulous! It's about a woman who's about to turn 30 and she's writing down advice to her great-grandniece (because a great-granddaughter seems like a pipe dream). She doesnt take any of her own advice, which is why the book's so great, any woman could relate to it. You know what the right thing to do is, but it's so much easier (and temporarily more fun) doing the wrong thing. She's giving advice such as "Don't wait by the phone! Ever! If you do, the guy you like won't call. Your mother will!", "When men say they'll call you, what they usually mean is "goodbye." and "If a man calls you at three a.m., he is giving you what we in the 00s call a "booty call." He wants only one thing - do not give it to him. Have some self-respect.". I believe in fate and I think spotting this book out of hundreds in the bookshop was fate, I was meant to read it because it's put me in such a bright mood! Ok, it could also be that this was the only book with a pink cover and my eyes inadvertently stared at it. I choose to believe the first theory.

One thing I dont like though is staying in pyjamas all day - it makes me feel like a slob. I'm not saying if you do that you're a slob, it just makes me feel like one. Normally I'd put on some comfy clothes to slouch about in, but today I chose to wear a mini skirt. With a red belt with spikes. Ah, saturdays... time for another cup of coffee and more girlie lit. What else could I do? Go jogging in the rain?!!

Today's song is 'not good at saying sorry' by The Early November.

Love,

Mon xx

PS: Just to finish off the burst of viral marketing, the name of the author is Kim Gruenenfelder.

Apparently after a traumatic experience you go through 5 stages:
*Denial
*Anger
*Bargaining
*Depression
*Acceptance

In my case, I have 5 completely different stages. These are:
*Girls night out
*Change my hair
*Cry - not only for obvious reasons but also because I dont usually like my new hair and it doesnt solve the problem and I've wasted money which could've been spent on the next stage
*Shop
*Get over it

So far this week I've purchased sexy new glasses, ballet shoes, a book called A Total Waste of Make Up and several treats such as Thorntons chocolate, chocolate nougat cereal, chocolate fudge cake, blueberry muffins and jellies. Other things I've got planned are to get my hair straightened and to get a tattoo. Oh, and to do some work for uni. Actually today I almost fell asleep in a lecture. But for that I have two cures: 1. Think about something interesting, which makes it kinda pointless going to the lecture in the first place; and 2. Drink a lot of water, which makes me need the toilet and no one can sleep when they need the toilet. I'm really tired but I've had too much sugar, it's an odd combination yet strangely pleasant.

Next step: change my hair.

Today's song is 'the greatest view' by Silverchair 'I will follow you into the dark' by Death Cab For Cutie.

Love,

Mon xx

Only a crazy person would voluntarily get up at 7:30am on their day off to go to an eyesight test. You get extra sadistic points if you do it hungover and under the symptoms of alcohol poisoning, and also if you take the jiggly bus which adds greatness to that "I'm gonna die" feeling. That person, is me. Finally managed to find a pair of glasses I really like though, so I guess it was all worth it!

Back to the alcohol poisoning thing...oh my God. Not fun. List of things barred from going into my mouth:

*milk (anything dairy actually - including yoghurts)
*lime
*tangerines
*glace cherries
*blue drinks
*grenadine and, unfortunately...
*...cappuccinos.

Yes. Even cappuccinos, my beloved frothy chocolaty friends, make me feel sick. I'd never been sick from alcohol before, so when I got up in the night and locked myself in the bathroom for a while you can imagine how humiliating it was when I heard my daddy's voice outside the door saying "Monica, are you ok?". My mom, on the other hand, just thought I was a piss head. There might be a reason for that though; when she was giving Connie a lift home and asked her where she lived, Connie replied "I dont even know who I am right now." Sooo, yea. And I guess downing a cup of tea like a shot doesnt exactly look sober. Ah well, it was a really good night! And I loooove the shoes Connie got me from Turkey, they make me look like a pixie!

There's no song for today, my head hurts.

Love,

Mon xx

It's official - I can't go a day without doing something idiotic. I was in a lecture earlier and we were talking about the differences between men and women; and the teacher goes "You, in black." (horror - she means me) and I just went "Er, well, men are less hygienic than women". Two hundred odd people in the room, nowhere to hide. Well, it was too late to hide. I'm sorry guys, I don't mean you're all dirty, it's just that the first thing that came to mind was living with my messy ex, and how living with girls again is more pleasant.

Had another boring lecture with the "anyone? anyone?" guy and didnt manage to get high off Rachel's strepsils to make the lecture easier to endure, sooo it's been a really long, really cold, really bleh day. I'm off tomorrow though, late night for meh! And it's my turn to cook tomorrow night, anyone got any ideas? I'll be making Charlie's apple crumble for dessert!

Today's song is...

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