Oh have I got gossip! Ok I haven't really, just gonna talk about my friday night. I met up with Mike and his mates and we had a very nice bottle of rosé, very fruity but nice. Then we went to this other place and after a little while we kinda got sick of it; it's funny how now that we're older/totally smitten we'd rather spend time on our own than in a nightclub, so we went to Mike's. You always think it's a good idea to stay at your boyfriend's when you're drunk and have no make-up or spare clothes, dont you? The thing is, I feel comfortable with him so it doesn't bother me much anymore. And when he says I look gorgeous first thing in the morning, when I look like a christmas tree with last night's shiny make-up all over my face, it just makes me feel like the happiest girl in the world.

My friend Rachel had told me that there was a French market in town and they did crepes, so today me and Mike went and had one, obviously! And oh they were good. We were looking at the crepes like kids look at toys, it was such a good beginning to the weekend. I am in love, in case I hadn't mentioned, and I wanna shout it out loud! Tee hee.

And this evening I cleared out my wardrobe and gave lots of clothes/bags/shoes to charity - it feels great!

Today's song is 'stop me' by Mark Ronson - it was on the radio while we were driving in the warm sun this afternoon. Ahhhhh.

Love,

Mon xx

For once I'm ready before I have to leave the house to meet up with people! Kinda proud of myself, kinda wishing I'd taken longer getting ready, as I wanna look fresh when I arive. Anyway, here's a song that sounds like how I feel tonight:

Enjoy your friday night everyone,

Love,

Mon xx

That's what my mom said to me, when I told her I'd thrown my ipod on the floor and now it works again!! Yay! Mike had already told me to try it, as that's how his brother fixed his ipod, but I was a bit scared of killing it altogether, but hey, now it works!

It's been a good morning; woke up feeling refreshed, there's good music on the tv channels for once, gonna walk to uni and pop into town to buy a new lipbalm (almost always makes my day - I am such a girl), and then I've got the night free to do whatever I want.

So here's hoping everyone's having a nice day *spreads some cheerfulness around*

Today's song is 'LSF' by Kasabian.

Love,

Mon xx

I know, and I expect, things to go wrong when I leave everything for the last minute. This time, however, I had everything ready (ish - went out instead of finishing the work last night, but I did get up at 7am today), but it was the printer that was against me. Seriously... gonna run off and hand this in soon, then I'm free until next week!

So, went out with the boy last night; had a lovely meal and then went for drinks. We talk about anything, it's so funny...and great, because amongst all the people you know, you're bound to have a friend or two with whom you can't talk about lipgloss or politics. With Mike, I talk about anything - juicytubes, the way I hate the war, future plans I have, how many kids I (don't) want, it's just so easygoing. Maybe that's it, this is what I've been waiting for. He's the guy I'm supposed to be with, he gets on board with my sometimes slightly strange ideas, but he also grounds me, which let's face it, we all need someone like that otherwise we'd do stupid things way too often.

Anyway, it's time to read Kerrang, go for a walk and finally relax. Now that I've had time to wake up and breathe, I can feel the hangover and I just wanna crawl back into bed and sleep. Today's song kinda sounds how I feel, and it suggests what I feel like doing to computers/essays/university:

Love,

Mon xx

It just keeps getting better...

*Didn't find egg baguette, so had a tuna mayo pasta instead. The mayo tasted like salad cream, but I was hungry so I ate it anyway
*Can't find useful journals for my assignment
*I'm 200 words over the word limit and I still haven't finished
*Finally found egg baguette so thought I'd get it for later, but the till's closed and they only accept change and I've only got a note
*It doesn't look like I'm leaving this bloody library anytime soon
*I think the salad cream was indeed dodgy mayo, my belly hurts, and I want my mommy

Tomorrow can't come soon enough.

Love,

Mon xx

*Woke up before my alarm
*The burns on my face from yesterday's facial incident haven't miraculously gone away
*Accidently got off the bus two stops early and had to walk loads more
*They didn't have egg mayo baguette in the bakery
*They didn't have egg mayo baguette in Tesco
*They didn't have egg mayo baguette in the student union
*Couldn't find a free computer in the library so had to sit around for an hour until someone decided to leave
*Got so stressed that I had to have a Galaxy, and now I feel sick and guilty
*I'm tired and I'd kill for a coffee right now, but if I dare get up I will lose this computer

But it's sunny, and I managed to get a computer by the window, and my boyfriend's sent me a lovely text which really cheered me up.

Now, back to culture clashes...like I give a . Hope your day's going well, feel free to bring me a cappuccino anytime.

Love,

Mon xx

...is great. It's not like I'm into kinky stuff or anything, but he's just told me he's doing some work in the garden and come oooon, has anyone seen Desperate Housewives?! The gardener is always hot. My boyfriend's hot in any occasion, but he's gardening, and I'm not there to admire it!! I think I'm gonna get some plants for my room.

In other news, cherry liqueur is weird but it's kinda nice - sweet and makes your muscles relax. What else do you need from a drink, really?

Love,

Mon xx

I was going to work loads today, but then I thought "it's sunday, I'll just work extra hard tomorrow because mondays are already bad anyway!" Saying that, I'm going to the library soon to get some books so I can pull an all-nighter should the mood strike me.

So, here's a little poem:

I wish I could go to sleep and wake up a year from now
I wonder how things are gonna be
I wanna know how it’s gonna turn out

Is it ever gonna change? Am I gonna stay the same?
Is it worth waiting around?
Will I find another way?

I wish I could just close my eyes
And make it go away
It’s easier to black out when
You’re watching yourself fade away
You can see the light
You know which way to go
Yet you turn around
And go back to where you came from

You’re fighting a battle that
You know you’re gonna lose
But you don’t give up hope
‘Cause between good and bad
You know which one you should choose

But it’s easier said than done
The enemy that’s in your head is eating away your soul
I wish I could close my eyes
And wake up far beyond my oath

Today's song is 'night after night' by The Sounds, the lyrics are great. Happy sunday everyone!

Love,

Mon xx

I gave myself deadlines and today I've actually finished what I'd intended to do, which as you might've noticed, doesn't happen often. So hurrah - a big chunk of the assignment's done! I involuntarily go into bitch mode during assignment and exam time, and I think my mom noticed that earlier and showed up in my room with a cappuccino. She went shopping earlier and I asked her to get me something nice so I could treat myself tonight, so she got me cider, vodka and orange drinks and cherry liqueur, whoah - go mom! So I intend to have a very lazy saturday night, watch Chocolat and make cocktails. You know it's a good plan!

Hope everyone's having a fun saturday!

Love,

Mon xx

*Born to very happy parents - miracle child, if you will
*Mother made her first baby soup and nearly killed me, it was so hard that "you could stick a spoon in it and it'd stay up straight"
*Baby Monica scared her parents by having chronic laryngitis
*Moved to Brazil at the age of seven
*Very happy childhood, amazing friends, shy and quiet but always secretly plotting small fires in the garden
*Went to military school cos father worked in the Aeronautic Centre, it was fun
*Got pneumonia, stayed off school for ages, it was great
*My crush moved to Japan, which left me very upset cos I'd have to wait four years to see him again. I didn't know that I'd never see him again, because...
*Moved back to Portugal at the age of fourteen, against my will
*After a long holiday, moved to England, couldn't speak english
*Met boy, fell in love, saw him on weekends and holidays as he lived two hours away
*Sat my GCSE's soon after, and passed most of them
*Went to 6th form, decided I'd put my experiences to good use and apply to do languages at university
*Found a lump on my neck, had a biopsy, it was a tumour
*Got accepted into six universities, decided that after all I've been through with my family, I didn't wanna leave them so stayed in Liverpool
*So the boy moved to Liverpool to be closer to me, and I moved in with him
*Started uni, hated the course, left after two months
*Got a job as a legal secretary, hated the job, left after three months to be a hippie and enjoy the summer
*Applied to do archaeology, music, or marketing at uni. Almost went for archaeology, but decided to do marketing in the end as I don't like mud/worms/touching the ground
*Met Rachel, pretty soon she was gonna be my best friend
*After four years together, me and the boy realised that we'd grown to be different people who wanted different things and the only thing we had in common is that we both liked my best friend - but, unlike him, I never wanted to see her naked
*Moved back home with the family
*Got a summer job in sales, it was shit, left after two days
*After waiting a few years and running away from hospital on a couple of occasions, finally had the operation to remove the tumour. Never felt so content and proud in my life
*Went out with a boy, his ex came back from the summer holidays and suddenly he went off me. I'm pretty sure he got back together with her. Decided I wanted to be single for a while longer
*Enjoyed lots of girly nights, being free, finally things seemed to be easygoing
*Met Mike. Being single was good, but a few moments into our first date I didn't wanna be single anymore, I wanted to be with him
*Four months later, we're up to date. Now I'm waiting to win the lottery so that I can say "fuck it" to everything, move countries everytime winter comes so that I avoid it altogether, and dedicate my life to helping the needy.

Ok, that wasn't that quick. Sorry.

Love,

Mon xx

An afternoon of working, working, working some more, watching Sex and the City and sulking, and listenning to music; I feel better now. I'm gonna see these tomorrow:

Can't wait!

Love,

Mon xx

I was onto my second cup of coffee before 9am when I found out that I failed my law test. It's the first thing I've failed since I started uni, and the first thing I've ever failed that's not maths related. I thought I knew the stuff, I was reading it again and again and thinking "I know this". So to start with, I thought this was the kick I needed to make me work harder, but now that I've had time to think (and do some work), I've realised that I'm really not cut out for this academia shit. I like to think outside the box and challenge rules, who makes them up anyway? A person - ah ha! Why should I obbey a person? It's just someone like me, what makes that person so special that we have to obbey their rules? So I don't like writing about what some sad person with no life wrote, I'd much rather write about my own opinions, my experiences through living life. Less time spent in the library, more time spent actually living, I think. I know academics worked hard to get to where they are today, which deserves a lot of respect, but dude...I'm so not like that. I like freedom, I like going for walks, I like writing about my feelings and admiring pretty places.

Why couldn't I have been born earlier on? A hippie is what I should've been. There's too much pressure to be someone today, and trust me, I wanna be someone very important and the career path I've chosen seems fun and exciting and I can't wait to start working. I'm intelligent, but I don't need some dude who spends all his time "researching" to tell me that.

That'll be all for now. I'm a pacifist, and I work hard for what I believe in, but I don't agree with this fucked up, money-driven world. It's like we're all cats being chased by dogs and I don't like it. It's not fair. And I'm upset.

Love,

Mon xx

You'd think this is gonna be a complex decision making post, but nope - what shall I do for entertainment? A deadline has been moved to sunday so I can give myself the night off. I feel like wine and a quirky feel good film, however there are no quirky films on and I think I've drank all the wine. Hummm.

Earlier someone asked me which celebrity I'd like to look like, and most girls said Jennifer Aniston or Rachel Bilson, but I thought that was so generic and as for Rachel, I already look twelve anyway so that'd be pointless. So, my choices were:

Audrey Tautou

Angelina Jolie (generic, I know)

Or Milla Jovovich

Funny how all three of them have had the same style fringe as me at some point, which my mom keeps saying is silly. See mom, it is a proper style, I didn't make it up!

So, hypothetically, who would you like to look like?

Love,

Mon xx

The festival, that is. Last time I went to a festival (Download 2004), I wanted to kill myself and the people I was there with, but now that I'm older, wiser and less "ohmigod there's mud on my shoooooes!", I think I'll have a great time! Gotta love the boy for managing to get me a ticket. We went out and had a crepe last night, the waiter thought we were a bit special going straight for dessert, but it was gorgeous. And then we went for a drive, which I love doing as it's so soothing.

As I got up before my alarm, I've had time to waffle around before I start working and finally found my current favourite song to download. Here it is:

David Bowie - Rock 'n' roll suicide

Sad and pretty, isn't it? So, back to work now... If, in an act of generosity, you would like to cheer me up, feel free to buy me these. Or these. Or anything from that site!

Love,

Mon xx

Deadlines, essays and exam revision - the bane of my life. It could be worse, but right now that's what I hate the most. I got a lot of work done today so I can have tonight off. Hectic day, and I wanna scream abuse at the weather fairies, but after taking my shoes off (note to self: never wear stiletto mary-janes to uni again, or ever, under any circumstance) and having a cappuccino, things are much better.

Me and the boy have been together for four months today, so I thought I'd do something nice to celebrate it. Since we both loved crepes so much when we went to Paris, I decided to look up all French restaurants in town, went there to read their menus, found out which ones do crepes, and tonight we're going out to have some! It was supposed to be a surprise, but I told him on saturday during our vodka tasting session. I could say, for the millionth time, how I feel about him. But instead, I'll let the homeboys do it for me in today's song:

We couldn't even escape them in France, there was a Beatles phone booth in the Virgin shop!!

Love,

Mon xx

And I've found the perfect description for me; it's off Girl Interrupted: "You are a lazy, self-indulgent little girl who is driving herself crazy." Or maybe not, I'm just like every other student. I hate working, I like sleeping and having fun.

The boy stayed over last night, we watched films and tried the vodka we made; he made it with sour skittles, which was really nice, and I made it with fruitella, which was lovely too. His mom had sent me a bottle of wine so we had that too, it was a great night and as always seeing him as soon as I woke up made me feel all loved up.

This morning I woke my mom up with breakfast in bed and flowers, I think holidays like mother's day and valentine's day are commercial and there's no need for them cos you're supposed to appreciate your special people and be nice to them everyday, but I had to do a nice gesture to remind my mom that I love her. Family can drive you insane sometimes and the things they say can really hurt you cos you actually care about their opinion, but like they say, you can't live with them and you can't live without them.

Right then, work...about applying heterogeneity and inseparability theory to the marketing strategy to achieve a bigger market share in the airline industry. Thrilling, honestly.

*8 weeks left til the summer holidays, she tells herself repeatedly*

Today's song is 'rock n roll suicide' by David Bowie. He scares me. People who look like him scare me.

Love,

Mon xx

"Dreaming", by Loudon Wainwright III

"I'd rather be dreaming than living
Living's just too hard to do
It's chances not choices
Noises not voices
A day's just a thing to get through
Living's just too hard to do

I'd rather be dreaming than talking
There's nothing to hear or to say
With ears covered mouth closed
The world is opposed
Nothing gets in or away
There's nothing to hear or to say

I'd rather be dreaming than thinking
Thoughts are small comfort to me
Dreams might be pretend
But at least dreams end
And I just can't stop thinking you see
Thoughts are small comfort to me

I'd rather be dreaming than sleeping
Just sleeping you're just as well dead
In dreams I can fly
In dreams I don't die
That's why I lie here in this bed
Just sleeping you're just as well dead

I'd rather be dreaming"

I read this and thought it was pretty; I know it sounds depressing but it's thought provoking, don't you think?

Love,

Mon xx

Yesterday, after I accidently missed a lecture, I decided to do something useful and get my hair cut. Then I got home and thought I'd do the man test on it. You know, the way men never notice when women change something about themselves? First man I saw was my dad, so I did a little twirl and...

Me: Notice something different about me?
Dad: Erm...ahhhhh you dyed your hair!
Me: No I havent...
Dad: You have a clip on your hair?
Me: Er, yeah, but that's not it. (Gotta hand it to him, it was a black kirby grip and I thought it was unnoticeable )
Dad: Your eyebrows look really neat?

At this point, the girls in the house burst into laughter. I gave up and told him, and he went "ahhh yeah, erm it looks shorter, uh huh." Next man I saw was my boyfriend, so again I asked "notice something different about me?" and he said "erm, you dyed your hair?"

Here's a song for today:

And now, I'm going to be good and do some work. I hope I win the lottery tonight.

Love,

Mon xx

That makes me sound like a prostitute. Or is that call gal? Well, whatever, I've got such a busy day ahead! And I lied when I said "working", it's more like launch parties and stuff! Ok ok and some work. Got a seminar, then lunch with Rachel, then a lecture, then gotta go to the bank, then to a meeting in uni, then to a launch party at The Body Shop! I wish the sun was out though, it's gonna be depressing walking loads under rain and a grey sky.

Last night was vile, but as always the boy cheered me up. It's like this quote I heard yesterday: "After all, computers crash, people die, relationships fall apart. The best we can do is breathe and reboot. And when that fails, a little gizmo called a zip drive can provide a surprising amount of comfort. So can a boyfriend, if you can learn to let him." It made me think..."let him", something hard to do but things are so much easier once you do let that barrier down.

Today's song is 'when your heart stops beating' by +44!

Love,

Mon xx

Ahhhhhhhh!!!! So I went upstairs, got a Sex and the City dvd, was about to get into bed, and there was a spider on it!! One of those annoying little ones that jump and never die, so I had to squash it on my duvet eugh eugh eugh. It was a good attempt at getting me to stop being lazy and do some work, but I came downstairs to watch the dvd in the living room instead. Ah ha!

My mom thinks Sex and the City is a bad influence on me because the women in it are older than me, so I shouldn't compare myself to them. What I've realised though, is that no one seems to be wise enough to always know what the right thing to do is in a relationship, regardless of age and gender. I guess it's not about being right, but about being understood.

I understand my boyfriend. Myself, on the other hand, I'm still trying to figure out what I'm all about, and it's more complicated than understanding someone you love, I think. He understands me though, which, after a few retarded boyfriends, is such a breath of fresh air.

Anyway, more dvd watching work needs to be done.

Love,

Mon xx

I think that I, like a baby/small child, am in a cranky mood because I'm tired. I got the recommended 8ish hours sleep last night, which is rare these days, but I still feel like sulking and throwing things at passers-by. Luckily for me I am not a small child and I can grab a dvd and go back to bed.

See you in a bit!

Love,

Mon xx

I think that I, like a baby/small child, am in a cranky mood because I'm tired. I got the recommended 8ish hours sleep last night, which is rare these days, but I still feel like sulking and throwing things at passers-by. Luckily for me I am not a small child and I can grab a dvd and go back to bed.

See you in a bit!

Love,

Mon xx

So last night I did go to the pub quiz, drank wine and got hugs off the boy. I knew what D. Emanuel was famous for and who went to the Oscars with hairy armpits in 1998. Decided to look for places I could stay in Paris for a couple of weeks in the summer. You should've seen that coming! Ranaway from a lecture, so here's a proper form of procrastination:

Elaborate on your default photo:
It's a little bit of me without giving too much away?

What exactly are you wearing?
Jeans and a t-shirt that says 'rebel' on it.

What is your current problem?
Too many essays.

What do you love most?
Having fun with my favourite people.

What makes you most happy?
Friends, family, the boy, holidays, sunshine, etc.

Are you musically inclined?
Yep, but I wouldn't go as far as saying I'm brilliant at it!

Which shoe goes on first?
Never noticed, probably the right one.

If you could go back in time, and change something...
I'd rather not, you learn from experience.

Ever have a near death experience?
Yeah, this massive lorry was driving down a cliff really fast ON THE WRONG FUCKING LANE and if my dad hadn't managed to drive up the pavement, it would've crushed and killed my family.

Name an obvious quality you have:
That's not for me to say really, but I don't do to others what I wouldn't like them to do to me.

What's the name of the song that's stuck in your head right now?
None, ahhhh bliss.

Any celeb you would marry?
Angelina Jolie. Nah, kidding, I'd rather set up an orphanage and help children than have one in my own house.

Name someone with the same birthday as you:
Robert De Niro.

Do you have a crush on someone?
Yes, his name is Michael. We've held hands. I kissed his cheek and he didn't go 'eeeeeuuuugh'. I think he likes me as well!

Have you ever vandalized someone's private property?
No, that's mean.

Been in a fight?
No, I'm a pacifist. But I've been threatened by some butch girls.

Have you ever sang in front of a large audience?
Yes, and thinking about it makes me cringe.

Say something totally random about you?
I prefer brown sugar on my cappuccinos, I think it tastes nicer.

Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
Yeah and it was very flattering but very untrue.

Do you wear a watch?
Always.

Do you have anything pierced?
Just ears, couldn't stand to have massive needles going through anywhere else!

Do you have any tattoos?
Three.

Do you like to shop?
Sometimes, but usually you find the nicest things when you can't afford to shop!

What is on your desktop background?
The uni logo, I'm in the library.

Do you like redheads?
Hair colour doesn't bother me.

Do you know any twins?
Yep, *thinks* at least four sets of them!

Do you have any weird relatives?
Of course, who doesn't?

What was the last movie you watched?
Amélie.

What was the last book you read?
The Bell Jar.

What is your favourite pair of pants that you own?
A pair of comfy but nice looking flared jeans, but skinny jeans rule when you wanna look like catwoman. Or something like that.

What is your favourite day of the week?
Saturdays, you can do whatever you want and leave anything you don't wanna do til sunday!

Love,

Mon xx

I watched Amélie last night; it was one of the weirdest films I've ever seen and the plot is really cute, it's a lovely kooky film! And watching it really made me miss Paris, it's such a wonderful place. Anyway, here are a few quotes I liked from the film:

"Life is a long rehersal for a show that will never play."

"If Amélie chooses to live in a dream-world and remain an introverted young woman, she has every right to mess up her life!"

"We pass the time of day to forget how time passes." - Hipolito

"Without you, today's emotions would be the scurf of yesterday's." - Hipolito

And Audrey Tautou is lovely, I like people who look real, as opposed to fake tan, fake hair, fake boobs etc etc etc, natural is almost always prettier. Saying that though, I watched a programme about Lindsay Lohan last night and in the words of one of my mates, I want to be/marry her. Not really though. There's only one person I wanna be with, and it ain't Lindsay.

Have a nice day everyone!

Love,

Mon xx

*I like him a lot more than I let on, because I hate admitting that someone/something else can even remotely control me

*When I see him, for a few minutes I forget what was bothering me and instantly the world's bright and shiny again

*I feel completely safe with him, even when I'm in a foreign country where I don't speak the language, can't read maps and have no idea which way to go

*I think he looks gorgeous when he wakes up in the morning

*He's one of few people who can make me laugh hysterically

*I love the way he justifies my little flaws, such as my greediness for sweets

*I love the way we think alike and together we come up with great ideas

*I miss being woken up by "Monica! We've slept in, it's twenty to 11!"

*I miss walking barefoot in an airport but exchanging smiles and seeing the funny side of things, even whilst being felt up by a lesbian

*I miss wandering around the streets of Paris at 11pm with a tulle dress on, singing "tete, epaules, genoux et pieds" and "lundi, mardi, mercredi...", and the way he looked at me that night

*I miss going for walks in the middle of the afternoon and not caring about time

*I miss sitting in a waiting lounge for hours, eating cake and drinking wine, talking about anything and everything

*I think he's the one. If such thing exists, he's my one.

Well, maybe soon he will know these things, as I've just made them public. Today's song is

Love,

Mon xx

Thanks to silly me Boots, I'll get my piccies on thursday instead of today, but here's a few I took on my phone:

And here's a pic we took by the river when we went for a walk at night:

The tower looks so pretty I thought I'd share it with everyone!

Love,

Mon xx

I'm baaaack! And I'm not chuffed about it, I wanna go back to Paris, it's the most amazing place ever. Thanks everyone for wishing me a bon voyage, I had a brilliant time! Flying wasn't great but I fixed that by drinking martini and wine before we boarded, was completely off my head but at least it wasnt as unpleasant as going there, until the pilot told us we were flying round the airport cos there was nowhere to land... What else... oh, the crepes! The crepes!!! After having my first one I decided to start a mission to eat as many of them as possible before I came back to England; on sunday I had one in between every meal and they were gooood. Basically we went the whole time just saying "merci", "au revoir", "un crepe nutella sil vous plais" (it was "deux" to start with, but Mike has way more self control than I do), "parlez vous anglais?" and "je ne parle pas francais". And we got away with it! Now, the Eiffel Tower...it's pretty cool in the day but at night, covered in lights, it was amazing. I was speechless. The Monalisa's nice too, but so dinky. And it was funny going for a walk in the park in the middle of the afternoon and drinking rosé wine like juice, no one even cares! The traffic was hideous, the drivers only stop when/if they feel like it, even when it's green for pedestrians - they should really warn you about that before you go. And the company, well, you know how I feel about my boy; we had the best time, very romantic and fun and just perfect. It really was the tits, the balls and the shaft - yes, I love how romantic Paris is!

I can't wait to get my pictures, I'll post some later! Must run to another lecture now, God help me stay awake.

All my love,

Mon xx

It's finally here!! I'm going to Paaaaariiiiis! Starting to get anxious about flying now, especially as I already feel sick. And a little worried in case I get too anxious and snap or get moody, cos it's the first time me and the boy are going to spend whole days together, so I hope he'll still love me after our holiday!

I wont get a chance to blog until I come back, so hope everyone has a good weekend and I shall catch up with you all soon! Off I go to make an idiot of myself (trying to speak French) - good thing I'm used to it, anyway.

Love,

Mon xx