Diary of Whatever

I saw this thing on Miza's blog and decided to do it. I am really freaked out by how accurate it is. The descriptions of last year and this year are completely true. Next year's predictions are already pissing me off, but we'll think about that later.

Inner Soul: You desire harmony, love, companionship, and peace with people; and you enjoy ease and comfort. You have great inner strength. You prefer kindness and thoughtfulness to the alternatives. As a dreamer and visionary, you desire others to know the necessity of living true to ideals. Many people call themselves your friend. You are a natural peacemaker and diplomat. You are often studious, attract many things to yourself, accumulate much wisdom. You try to reveal the beauties you have seen and known. You are capable of remarkable inventions.

Personality: You are seen as curious, sensual, witty, carefree, capricious, and restless. Monotony does not survive around you. You are adept with words and can entertain new ideas with relish.

Your quiescent Self: You travel to all countries of the world and experience the cultures they have to offer. You are fluent in all native languages and thrill with understanding many and varied points of view. Ties and responsibilities are not present. You live for adventure and constant new experience. Your thoughts and pleasure are not predictable, even to yourself, but always relate to learning or experiencing new things.

Your Destiny or Ultimate Goal: Your destiny is to be one of the educators of the world - uncovering and understanding the mysteries of life; studying, proving, making sure of facts then writing, teaching, or demonstrating your knowledge to others. Your quest for knowledge can bring you many unusual experiences and associations. You are intelligent, intuitive, scientific, a thinker, and a sage and you have far-reaching insight. You are an articulate and convincing spokesperson and a perfectionist, and would be at home in any executive position that did not involve machinery or the manufacturing departments. You enjoy writing, inventing, philosophy, and religions.

Your Life's Path: Your life is filled with things practical, or making them so with patience, care, and accuracy. You have a strong sense of what is right and are naturally honest, conscientious, and sincere. You are a worker and can be decidedly dedicated to your goals. In your work, you can be loyal, intense, and dedicated to the job at hand. You tend to be practical, and like to have your facts straight before beginning a project. You tend to be protective, with a strong sense of dignity and worthiness. Your path holds possibilities for great attainment. The rewards come because of patience, service, persistence and hard work.

Hufuckingrah. It's not an exception, it's a rule. It's not a phase, it's nature. Or, as my mother has always kindly said, "it's not a defect, it's a characteristic".

Love,

Mon xx

I got the job. After some debating with myself and friends, I decided to be excited about it. It's an internship, so my lifestyle will have to change in more ways than just financially, but I can adapt. I could get a job that pays better now, something I probably won't enjoy, and quit it in a few weeks. Whereas if I take this one, in six months I will be able to do something I actually enjoy! Wow, can you imagine actually loving your job and wanting to get out of bed in the morning?! I'm quite excited and looking forward to it. Really. At least I think I am, or would like to be, rather. Hmm. Oh God, I hope I win the lottery tomorrow.

I went out with the girls last night and we talked about the new beginnings in our lives over some cherry juice (I am off the booze for a while). It's really interesting to see four completely different lives, with one thing in common: we all moved to Berlin to pursue happier and more fulfilling lives, i.e. we were bored to death of our towns. Inevitably when you have four women in a bar, you have to decide which character of Sex and the City you are most like. "Charlotte", they uttered in unison as they looked at me. It's interesting to see people's perspectives of you. As much as I try to hide and shove it to the back of my mind, I think I am Charlotte.

In other news, my cousin has decided to get engaged. This brings the total wedding count for 2010 to about eight. Joy joy joy. We were flower girls at our mums' cousin's wedding when we were about four, and we lost the rings. It was hilarious. I've promised that if she lets me be a flower girl at her wedding, I won't lose them this time.

Anyway, must tune my guitar and practice some songs to play for the kiddies today. The kids I've worked with this week have been fantastic. It's been one of the best weeks of my life - so enjoyable and rewarding.

Love,

Mon xx

Today I woke up and felt like a different woman - a woman who lives within me, but only manifests herself when the time is right, when her presence is deemed necessary as a consequence of recent events.

A woman who, upon waking in a city she still feels somewhat lost in, thinks "I could be anywhere and I'd still rock the place" instead of "Fuck, I live in Berlin". A woman who finds strength when it seems that there is none left. A woman who accomplishes more in a week than she normally would in months, due to her heightened sense of awareness, which leads to even more motivation and determination than usual. A woman who is willing to forgive but not forget, which sadly is the key to moving on. A woman who recharges her batteries over tea and a chat with friends, rather than ten beers and a spliff. A woman who looks in the mirror and thinks "Damn, I am hot" rather than "Maybe I should cut out the cake" - in fact, a woman who wants her cake and eats it too. A woman who thinks "Nothing can nor will destroy me" and believes it; a woman who is fearless.

And the best part is that she's me. It doesn't feel good when you realise that you have to buckle up and brace yourself for the shitstorm that's coming, but I'm a pretty great fighter. I have a lot of (very precocious) experience (which I love and hate in equal measure) and I'm willing to take on more. It'll just make me an even stronger person.

So if you're feeling a bit low, find your balls and use them. You can do it. I believe in you. You'll be just fine.

Love,

Mon xx

Just some things I feel like I should say:

1. Read my friend's advice. It's very good.

2. I am getting louder and louder at screaming at my neighbours, who have sex every Sunday morning and make noises that can only be described as inhuman, nauseating and French.

3. Going for a run and practicing pole dancing at 7am is somewhat wrong - and disturbing - yet feels so satisfying.

4. How am I going to get tickets to see 30 Seconds to Mars at the end of the month if they're sold out? I need to meet Jared again and more importanly, need to get him to sign my arm again.

5. When doing research, if you ask people who played major roles in your life to write something about you and they all begin the reply with 'Wow', what does that mean?!

6. And what could George Bernard Shaw see when he said "You see things; and you say, 'Why?' But I dream things that never were; and I say, 'Why not?'"? Could it be that he was actually crazy and he wasn't talking about his dreams or inventions, and everything I stand for is bollocks?

7. Thank God the airport police confiscated my hairdressing pair of scissors, and that the scissors I took from the kindergarten are blunt, therefore can't cut my own fringe.

8. I really want to cut my fringe.

9. Can you judge someone by their Facebook profile? You're supposed to describe yourself, but the groups you join can say a lot more about you. Here are mine, for example:

- I Really Should Think Before I Speak
- Those who APPARENTLY talk in their sleep
- I LOVE CHEESE
- I am not a Lesbian but I'm in love with Zooey Deschanel
- Helen's going to jump out of a plane!
- Disney Gave Me Unrealistic Expectations About Love
- I LOVE PARIS ♥
- Melt in the middle chocolate pudding appreciation society
- You Haven't Tasted Chocolate Milk Until You've Tasted Chocomel
- Betty Crocker is my drug dealer
- The Oliver Myles Appreciation Society
- When I was your age, Pluto was a planet
- Kids Who Hid In Dep't Store Clothing Racks While their Mom Was Shopping
- I can name every Jelly Belly flavor
- I eat Nutella straight out of the jar
- Abusive Coffee Drinkers Anonymous
- Jelly Beans are the Sixth Food Group
- I have a star tattoo
- Just Say No!
- The Crepe Appreciation Society
- I'm Not Short I'm Petite
- Bridget Jones Support Group
- Anti War, Pro Puppies
- Peanut butter and jam appreciation society
- My name is Monica!!!
- Liverpool Marketing Elite
- Ben and Jerry's isn't just an ice cream but a religion
- Tyskie
- Randomely laughing because you remembered something funny
- Laughing When You Shouldn't
- Pineapples do not belong on pizzas
- Hate Being Told What To Do
- Pretending to Text in Awkward Situations
- I still laugh when everyone else is over it
- World Nutella Day

10. Do not sing Barbie Girl to your man. He might leave, taking you with him, dragging you out of the room naked and accidentally chafing your knee on the wall. This is impossible to remember when you're having a shower, and you'll keep rubbing it with the body puff, thus never allowing it to dry up and stop stinging.

Have a great Sunday.

Love,

Mon xx

I am sooooo embarrassed about last night. Here's why:

16:30: Post-meeting drinks. Two glasses of cosy Glühwein.

18:00: Meeting friend. Don't have much time to have a drink as we need to be somewhere at 19:00. Order a carafe anyway and drink two glasses of red wine in half an hour.

19:30: Fancy another drink. Have to be somewhere at 20:00. They don't have carafes and a bottle is cheaper than two glasses (I think. Even if it isn't, surely it's better value for money) so we order one. Drink two and a half glasses of wine in half an hour.

20:30: Call Stephen to see if he fancies a snog cos I'm walking past his house. Get to his place, go straight to the bathroom to be sick. Accidentally puke on his toilet mat. "Mon, are you puking?" "No..." I was. Decide to go home straight away, without a kiss. (Or did I inflict one upon you?)

21:00: Call friend to tell her I'm drunk and walking home, and that I love her. She tells me she's drunk on the ubhan, on the way to meet her friend at the airport.

21:15: Get home, head straight to the bathroom.

21:30: Wake up with head in the toilet. Phone rings. It's Stephen, asking if I made it home, if I feel okay and if I want him to come over. God no, I say. Don't want him to witness any more of this. Sweet, though.

22:00: Get up and have a glass of water.

23:00: Throw up water.

1:30: Friend texts me to say she's still drinking, and slowly dying.

5:00: I wake up. Guess I've had enough sleep. Check my emails. Have a horrible headache. Go back to bed.

9:15: Ahh, feel much better. Except for the feeling that I've done 500 sit-ups.

So unlike me. I went for one drink and all of a sudden, I realised I was drunk. I think I have some apologising, and perhaps some washing, to do today. Again, I am so embarrassed.

Love,

Mon xx

Yesterday my best friend back home sent me this text:

"Friends are the ones you don't have to speak to everyday, who understand why you didn't take their advice and the ones who call you at 4am to let you know they are drunk. Who tell you you are stunning even when you're crying and remind you that you can do better than the guy who doesn't treat you like a princess. They listen when they've heard the same story 1000 times, who call you to gossip about nothing and whether you're dancing on the table or passed out drunk they'll turn and say, 'Yeah, that's my friend'."

That made me feel warm and fuzzy inside, as I thought about my friends. I talk about them a lot on my blog, so maybe it's time I told you more about the lovely protagonists in my life.

Let's start with K. I met K a week after I landed here in May. She'd been here a month longer than me, so we were getting to know the place and helping each other settle in. Oh, she succeeded.

I had my first proper Berlin night out with her, and didn't get home until 6am. And I've blogged about that weekend, that started with her party. That was one hell of a weekend - we still refer to it as 'that mad weekend'. And she was here when the police came to shut down the party at my place. She's my co-saviour (Stephen is the other one) when I'm lost and need train directions, which still happens every now and then. But never, not once, did she complain about me being a directionless retard. When I was going through a really hard time one particular day, she called me and asked if I was at home. I was in bed, ignoring the world. When I told her I was in, she asked me to let her in, because she was downstairs. She came armed with the biggest bunch of flowers, one rose, Milka chocolate and the sweetest postcard, with encouraging words. She never tells me she's busy when I need to talk, even though she must be sometimes. She listened to my whining on a daily basis when I was locked in the bathroom at work crying because I was losing my mind, and called me after work to cheer me up and reassure me that it would be over soon - she even started a countdown. She taught me the best drinking game ever, one where not many people can remember the turnout - it's that good. She gives me thoughtful 'cheer up' gifts and tells me everything will be fine. She does give me advice, but she encourages me to do what I want to do, unless what I want to do is completely irrational - then she tells me so. She has great ideas: whether it's a pros and cons list, or a question that makes you think about the answer, she knows how to make you have a good time. And let's not forget the jokes. She knows the most awful jokes, which are so awful and cute you have to laugh your head off. There hasn't been one that wasn't hilarious. They're certain to lift up your spirits.

So here's to K *lifts up glass of water (I'm never drinking red wine again)* - one of the biggest reasons I'm glad I moved to Berlin. Love ya girlie!

(She taught me the choreography to this song, too.)

Lots of love,

Mon xx

I was sitting on my bed, typing away on the laptop, telling my friend about my plans for Bonfire Night here, when I looked out of the window...

Oh my God. Oh. My. God.

I called the male. "It's snowiiiing!!" The male grumbled. Ok, wrong person. Called the Australian friend. "It's snowiiiing!!". "Ahhhhhh I knooooow!!!". There we go...

I love this place in Portugal that's full of mountains, which get really snowy in winter. It's one of my favourite places on Earth, and it's breathtaking - one of the places in Portugal I'd like to live in. I've been to Switzerland in the heart of winter and wore ski clothes. I've had snow fights with my friends pretty much every year since 2000. But... I am Portuguese, from Lisbon. There ain't snow in Lisbon. And I lived in Sao Paulo - no snow there, either, just smog. And let's face it, snow in Liverpool is pretty ridiculous, as it turns into ice and melts the next day.

So, when I saw the snow, obviously I started screaming - half because it's so pretty and exciting, and half because it's only the beginning of November. Make that 80% excitement, 20% fear. Actually, 60%, 40%.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go and make the most of being unemployed and having an empty house and dance like a lunatic work my ass off in the lounge.

Love,

Mon xx

A while ago Stephen wrote a post about our intention to try out lots of restaurants around the area where I live. Now let me tell you about my intention to avoid a couple.

No. 1: The Asian
Monday night, I go in to get some food to take out.
Asian dude: Oh, you the girl who live upstairs. We neighbours!
Me: Oh yeah, that's right.
AD: You sing in the house.
Shit.
Me: Oh, sorry, I didn't think you could hear me.
AD: No no, you have nice voice.
No I don't. Especially not when I'm singing at the top of my voice to some level my vocal chords can't reach.
AD: I new here. My dad owns this restaurant. I am his son. *smug smile*
Me: Oh, that's lovely. Great.
AD: You new here too?
Me: Kinda, I've been here five months.
AD: You from England?
Me: Yeah.
AD: How long to England?
Me: How long does it take to get there?
AD: Yeah yeah.
Me: About an hour and fourty minutes.
AD: By bus?
Me: No... by plane.
AD: Oh, and by bus?
Me: I don't know, I've only ever flown.
AD: And train?
Me: Again I don't know, planes are quick and cheap with Easyjet.
AD: *looks like he's thinking "what the hell is an Easyjet?"* Bus is cheaper. And train is nice.
Me: I bet it is.
AD: My friend here, we take train to England.
Me: Awesome, hope you enjoy it.
AD: You want to take this soup upstairs and bring the bowl down after?
Me: That'd be great.
AD: I take it to the door for you.
Me: Oh, you don't have to -
AD: No no, let me take it for you.
Me: Thank you so much.
AD: No problem. See you later girl from upstairs.
Not only do I need to find another place to get my fix of Asian food, I also have to move.

No. 2: The Food Hut
About an hour ago.
Me: Pommes mit mayo, bitte.
Crazy Food Man: *says something in German*
Me: *pretends it's not directed at me*
CFM: *repeats it*
Me: Um, Ich kann kein Deutsch.
CFM: Oh, English?
Me: Yeah...
CFM: But you not from England?
I give up.
Me: Yeah I am.
CFM: But not?
Me: Uh huh.
CFM: Not from Philippines?
What the...?!
Me: Er, no...
CFM: But the colour!
I'm not sure I want to eat these chips anymore.
Me: Yeah, I know, I look really Filipino.
CFM: You have problem?
Me: Me?
CFM: Yes, I have problem here *points to his back* And he do too *points to homeless looking dude* You?
Homeless looking dude: *waves*
Me: No, I don't have any problems.
CFM: Ahh, good. You good.
Me: I am.
CFM: No, I mean, you are good. Look. You look... good. Very lucky.
Me: Thanks, that's very kind of you.
CFM: *pervert smile* You're welcome. So you want ketchup, yes?
Me: Mayo please.
CFM: You live here?
Oh Jesus.
Me: No, I'm here on holiday. About to leave.
CFM: Ahh yes, Berlin is very good. England have money. You lots of money. You come with family?
Me: Um, no, just a friend.
CFM: Ahhh, friend! Yeaaah, I know friend. *makes heart gesture, nods and winks* No?
Me: *nervous laughter*
Really hope I don't catch crazy from these chips.
CFM: Ok my English girl, here chips for Madam.
Me: Dankeschön.
CFM: Come back! Bye bye!
Not if I can find another road to walk through to get to my destination.

As Austrian composer Franz von Suppè said, "You are crazy my child, you better go to Berlin!"

Love,

Mon xx

Do you ever feel like being filthy and lazy?

I'm looking for jobs and have already applied for about 15, so I am being proactive as always. But I'm also in pyjamas, only just brushed my teeth, my hair is a mess, and I intend to have lunch and waste some more time online before I shower and look/feel human. Feels great. Totally necessary every now and then.

I need these periods of unemployment and silence to do some life analysis. I often need to remind myself that it's ok to slow down and that I don't want to have a heart attack and die before I'm 30. I enjoy these periods of time. Good things always emerge from my Lady-of-Leisure status.

Of course I feel uncomfortable and it bothers me, but not enough to do something about it!

Have a great day!

Love,

Mon xx

Four years ago, on a boring afternoon, I started a blog. Two years later, I met a guy who worked for blog. Little did we know that two years after that, we'd hook up...

S: *lights up candles and sits next to her watching a film*
M: *candles?* *wonders if he's hitting on her*

S: Here, have my hat.
M: *realises, as she's walking, that she can't see a thing* I can't see anything.
S: *looks at her, the hat covering her eyes* Oh Jesus. *fixes hat*
M: Can I see now?
S: Yes you can.
M: *feels like kissing him, but doesn't*

M: *accidentally sees his belly when he's taking off his t-shirt*
S: Good night.
M: Night. *lies on guest bed wondering if he wants to kiss her. She kinda wants to, but doesn't*

S: *on the swings in the playground* I can't push myself.
M: I'll help you. *holds onto him and feels like kissing him, but doesn't*

*sitting on a bench eating chocolate*
S: I have a strong desire to kiss you now.
M: Really?
S: Yeah.
...
S: *laughs* "Really?"
M: Well I just... wanted to make sure.

S: What are you writing on me?
M: Nothing. How do you spell Spätzle? Are the dots on the A or the E?

S: *blows her belly*
M: Arrrrggghhhhh *laughing in ticklish pain*
S: Blow her belly, it's fun.
M2: *blows belly* Oh God, the last time I did that was to my dog.

M: My legs hurt and it's your fault.
S: How is it my fault?
M: You made me have sex with you all night. Tsk.
M2: Sixsie...
M: You told him?
S: *smirks*

S: You don't happen to have those gummi bears on you, do you?
M: No, do you fancy them?
S: Yeah.
M: Have a cookie.
S: Fuck cookies.

M: *in the pool* Come in, I'll hold you, people are weightless in the water.
S: *gets in and drowns*
M: Hmm, that's never happened before.

S: I'll meet you by the big yellow Lego giraffe.

M: Do you want some chips?
S: I always want chips.

M: I've had enough of rom-coms, I'm gonna start watching more butch films.
S: So you're just gonna stop watching chick-flicks?
M: Yeah, there's not enough yippie-kah-yay-motherfucking-planes exploding in chick-flicks... It was a helicopter, wasn't it?
S: In the second one it was a plane.

S: I'm really hornover.
M: You're what?
*hysterical laughter*

M: *runs up* I was just biking past and thought it'd be rude not to come up and give you a kiss, so... *kisses him* Bye!

M: Welcome back.
S: I missed you.

M: I saw this and thought of you, so I bought it for you.
S: *looks at zombie monkey finger puppet* *laughs* Thanks!

S: Welcome back.
M: I missed you.

S: *outside the bathroom as she's being sick* Mon, can your hair reach your mouth?
M: No.
S: Alright then.
M: *opens the door to find him outside holding a towel to cover her up*

M: I think it's sweet that you say I'm the hottest girl you know.
S: Well, I'm not paying you a compliment, I'm just stating a fact.
M: Awwww.
S: Oh shut up.

S: *holding her*
M: Aren't I light?
S: No actually, you're quite heavy.
M: Really? But it looks so easy the way you're holding me.
S: Well, there aren't many people I could hold like this, but you're still heavy.

M: Say 'goat'.
S: No.
M: Pleeeaaaase.
S: No!
M3: Why do you want him to say goat?
M: Cos it sounds cute in his Irish accent.
S: Yeah it's the same with a certain feline.
M: It doesn't sound funny when you say 'lion'.
S: No not lion, another feline.
M: Cheetah?
S: Slighter smaller...
M: Oh, cat! Cattt. Say cat!
S: No.

M: Do you want a falafel?
S: No thanks.
M: You can have some of mine if you fancy some later.
S: If you can't finish it, I'll have some.
...
S: How slowly are you eating that falafel?
M: Want some?
S: There's hardly any left.
M: Take a bite. A girly bite, not one of your manly bites.
S: A girly bite? Ok, I'll take a very dainty bite...
M: Wow, that was dainty. Here, have some more.
S: *eats falafel and her fingers*

S: Why does it say on your profile that you're 23?
M: Because I'm 23?
S: You're 23? You're 24, aren't you?
M: No, I'm 23!
S: That means you were 22 before! Jesus!
M: *looks confused and unimpressed*
S: I should really know that, shouldn't I?
M: Yeah.

M: Ooh, can I write something else?
S: Ok.
M: Hehe. Hehehe.
S: *looks in the mirror* I... hmm, N... what does it say?
M: Insert penis here.
S: Ha, that's pretty funny.

M: *looks at his football jersey* Ha! Montella! Mon Nutella.

S: Oh God, those eyes, stop looking at me with those puppy eyes, I can't do anything when you -
M: But look at the eyes Stephen, look at them.
S: Oh, for fuck's sake. *kisses her*
M: *giggles*

M: *feels water on her bum*
S: *smiles*
M: Did you...?
S: Ass crack!

S: Are you sure you're ok?
M: Yeah I'm fine.
S: Is that the type of fine that really means fine or the type of fine that's gonna come back and bite me in the ass?

M: This cookie smells good. *puts cookie under his nose*
S: *eats cookie and her fingers*
M: *looks at him* *fishes the cookie back out*
S: You're not going to -
M: *eats the cookie*
S: Oh noooooo, that's sick! That's sick!
M: It's my cookie.

M: Do you wanna go on a date with me on Tuesday?
S: I have plans for Tuesday.
M: Wednesday?
S: I'm teaching late. I'll check my schedule.
M: *fake cries* I just gave you a blow job and you don't wanna go on a date with me. *fake squeals*
S: Thursday! Thursday!
M: Great, pick me up at 8.

M: *grabs another cookie*
S: What does it smell like?
M: *starts to move it towards him* ...Ah ha!
S: *grin*

M: Ask for the big green pepper.
S: No.
M: Bitteeeee.
S: No!
M: Die groß grün Paprika bitte.
Kebab Guy: *washes pepper* Für Madam.
M: Danke schön!

S: You look great today. *after food poisoning night*
M: I feel like shit.
S: But you look great. You should stay up puking all night more often.

M: *opens eyes in the morning to find him sitting on the bed staring at her with a massive smile, still drunk from the party*
S: Whoah, you look skanky today.

M: You were snoring like a motherfucker last night.
S: I'm sick!
M: I know, that's why I didn't hold your nose until you woke up...

*watching a scene in a film where the guy starts dancing after hooking up with the girl*
S: That's true.
M: What is? The dancing?
S: Yep.
M: Do you do it?
S: Yep, I did it after I dropped you off at the airport in March.
M: Did you see blue birds too?
S: Yep.

M: I love the smell of my new shower gel, smell me.
S: If I smell you I'm gonna want to have sex with you.
M: ...Smell me.

M: Should we go in the other room?
S: I think she's in there.
M: Oh, then should we close the door?
S: *nods*

M: *wakes up out of breath* *realises he was holding her nose*
S: *smiles*

S: So when did you stop watching the film?
M: I don't know... but the part I saw was funny.
S: Yeah, the opening credits are hilarious.

M: You know, you're one of the nicest and most thoughtful people I've ever met.
S: I'm a dick.
M: No, you're really nice and thoughtful.
S: I'm a dick.
M: Well dick, I wouldn't have you another other way.
S: Thanks.

S: Does it still say 'insert penis here' above my bum?
M: Hmm, no, it's gone. Want me to write it again?
S: No thanks.

S: Ooh, teeth. *rushes towards bathroom*
M: I'm gonna head out.
S: *turns around* *kisses her* See you later.
M: *smiles* Bye.

xx

(I hope I haven't misquoted you, Rampage. )

M: Mary Magdalene was shagging Jesus.
S: Mary Magdalene was Jesus' mother!
M: Obviously you haven't seen Jesus Christ Superstar.

M: Urrrgh! Oh my God! *covers face with hands* ...What happened?
M2: Maybe you should watch the movie!

M: I'm a hypocrite as in... Well, for example, I would advise all my friends not to hook up with someone they were just spending a weekend with. But I have done it before and I will do it again. I mean, I won't. Not while I'm with you. I mean... Let me think of another example.
S: Please do.

M: I met Jared Leto.
M3: Oh my God! I hate you even more now!
M: He signed my arm and mentioned me in a interview for a magazine. I didn't wash for about a week.
M3: A week?! I would never wash again!
S: You still haven't given another example.

K: We cooked, but it didn't work.

K: There's a sex orgy in this film. It says so on the back of the cover.
T: A sex orgy? Like there are lots of other types of orgy. Oh look, it's all one word, too. Sexorgy. Sexorgy. What classification is this?
K: R18.
T: Oh my...
K: And that's saying something for Germany.

K: Would you like a tattoo?
M: I'd love one!
K: You can choose between an arm, a leg, a whole skeleton, a -
M: Ooh, the little head!
M2: You mean a skull?
M: That's the one.

M: I like the way we have communal Nutella.
M3: Yeah, it's like toilet paper!
M: And it's good for our self control, cos knowing somebody else will eat it makes us not stick our fingers in the jar.
M3: Exactly!
M: Just use a clean spoon every time you dip.

M: So I was thinking about having some tea and biscuits, or beer in my case, and then hitting the gay museum because it seems like something nice to do on a Sunday afternoon.
L: The what museum?
M: The gay museum.
L: Oh, er, yeah... that's interesting.
...
K: Are you gay?
M: No.
K: You're just curious?
M: Not really.
K: So why do you want to go?
M: It's a gay museum, what reasons could you have to not want to go?!
K: You're weird.

M: There's some dressed up kids heading this way, don't answer the bell if it rings.
K: They've already rang.
M: Did you give them sweets?
K: No, we pretended we weren't in.
R: We had some at our place too.
M: Did you give them sweets?
R: No, we turned the lights off and pretended we weren't in.
A: Some kids rang our bell before.
M: Did you give them sweets?
A: No, we turned the lights off, stayed really quiet and pretended we weren't in.

Have a great Sunday!

Love,

Mon xx